Thursday, February 21, 2008

"I Used To Ride A Bike"

I was clearing out some storage space recently and dug up a stack of ancient magazines. Before committing them to the recycling bin I had a quick glance through a few of them and came across this little gem. I'm not sure exactly when I started cycling, but I know I was still at school, and I've been doing the same with varying degrees of enthusiasm ever since - although I suspect I need to do more if I am to avoid gaining weight. If I'm not careful I may end up as the subject of this verse -

'I used to ride a bike'

All motorists get up my nose
But the type I most dislike
Is the one who has to tell you
That he used to ride a bike.

He approaches you at lunch stop
With a loving sort of look,
You try to hint you're resting –
But tact's not in his book.

Oh, the caf├ęs where he used to stop.
The characters he knew.
The distances he covered.
He rode twice as far as you.
He's over thirty now, of course
(his waist looks forty-two),
So he's had to pack it in for good –
But how he envies you!

All cyclists need protection Lord,
But one thing we implore –
Protect us most of all from bores
Who've swapped two wheels for four.

Bill Tordoff

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